The end of an era.

As mentioned in the previous blog, we received some sad news on Wednesday, the passing of Greg's grandma. She had been struggling with her health for several years and it was not unexpected, but as with all deaths of our best loved ones, it was still a terrible shock to the heart when it happened.

When Greg and I first started dating, he had been spending a lot of time over at his grandparents home in Casmalia. His grandfather had recently had a stroke and Greg was helping his grandma with taking care of him, transferring him when needed, and just being there for them. It was a special time for him and important for him to be a part of something so necessary. I never really had a chance to know his grandfather. I met him only one time before he became incapacitated and was hospitalized and died soon after. We had a brief conversation that went something like this (amid yelling at Greg's cousins who were outside), "I wish I met you before I couldn't get out of this bed. Greg sure got lucky with you." It was one of those things that just sticks with you and makes you feel like family before you officially become family. It was a sad day when he died. It was really the end of a great relationship for Greg.

Thankfully, I was able to form a relationship with Greg's grandma, Donna. She was this fantastic, sweet woman who hugged you the second you walked in the door, asked you how you were at least a dozen times a visit, and just made you feel as welcome as you could imagine. She sure loved Greg and Greg loved her right back. He told me stories and stories about how growing up he and Chris would spend time there just hanging out watching the Dodgers, going for rides, bbq-ing, stealing... er... taking artichokes from the fields of local growers who all knew the family from way back when, and just being together as a family. He talked about how she was the best cook ever, she made him the best pickled beets (that no one on earth will ever be capable of duplicating), bought him pudding pops and tiny 7-up cans. His desire to go into the restaurant business really stemmed from his love of being around this best cook in the world of a grandma and watching her make dinner for everyone.

It was clear she loved her family and made them her number one. For our wedding, she lent me a diamond necklace to wear (it was my something borrowed and something old). She talked to me about how it was so great that Greg and I made each other happy. She was so excited when Belly was born, she held her and talked to her just like I imagine she did with Greg and Chris.

She also gave us some great fodder for laughs later. One particular visit to our house, Greg's parents brought both grandmas over for a long weekend. They were going to sleep upstairs together. It's important to note before I tell the story that Donna rarely uttered swear words or foul language. So anyway, she had fallen asleep on the couch, dentures starting to fall out the mouth a bit when all of a sudden, clearly mid dream, she started yelling obscenities and making threats. Greg's other grandma took one look at her, scooted away, and said, "I'm not sleeping with her!". After they tucked in for the night it brought on some great laughs for all of us.

It is always sad to see someone you love go. The hardest part is knowing that we will never have a chance to hug them again, remind them why they are so special to us, and share laughs with them. I have to say, sad as it is for us here missing her, she is joining a fine group of people up there. Greg's grandfather, I'm sure, was waiting with open arms for her when she went home; she finally gets to meet my dad (maybe she can tell him about Belly), we've got 4 other wonderful grandparents up there, and all the other friends and family we lost along the way to keep her company.

It really is the end of an era for us. Grandparents, even when they are far away, are so important to who we are, especially if they are as great as the ones we have been blessed to have. They love us no matter what, they are always glad to see us and hear from us, they make us special desserts when no one else even likes it.

Thank God Greg and I have been so lucky to have such a great family. Belly is equally blessed. She has two separate sets of grandparents who would walk to the end of the earth for her. Granted, life doesn't always turn out the way we hoped when we were kids, but with a family who loves us, even when our shoes are all beat up, we can walk many extra miles.

Please visit her tribute page on the Santa Maria Times website by clicking here.

We will miss you Grandma Tognetti!

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What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudolph Giuliani